One Dumb Ass Pimp

Ya know Mr. Shafer be on this blog all over tha place.

Being bitch slapped and for being a POTW for talkin out his ass on everything that get's posted to Avvo Answers.

After a while, it gotta make you wonder - do this white bread mofo got a clue at all? Is he an attorney? For real !!!???

For instance, take this question that draws him in like a crack ho lookin for a nut.

Gotta get dem points - regardless if it may him look like a stupid ass cracka only out to pimp his scoreboard points.

And, this ain't the only time Mr. Shafer be puttin out the "I dunno what you're asking -but imma get some points" response. Take a look at his answers. Maybe he should go on Montel Williams or Dr. Phil - cuz, homeslice seems to be better at providing personal advice than legal advice.

Mr. Shafer's profile also now shows him to be a "PRO". PRO what?? Pro Pimp Ass Bitch?

Although, I do agree with his slogan - DO NOT GO TO COURT WITHOUT A GOOD ATTORNEY. Too bad it ain't him.

We need a new prize for this kind of crap - Let me know what I should call it. Post it in the comments.

Bitch Slap O' the Week

It look like this Double Slap is catchin on, ya'll. Just like last week, we got a homeboy slappin down dem Avvo Pimps.

Mr. Shulman, an estates attorney out of FLA, comes out with a backhand against Ms. Brewer's answer to a Homestead question. (the same Ms. Brewer who thought I was being Slanderous Per Se by callin out Avvo Pimps.)


Mr. Shulman be gettin all Abe Lincoln on her ass.

Then, Mr. Shulman comes out with the open forehand and be giving it again to another out state attorney tryin to Pimp it with jive ass nonsense.

Right on, brotha.

Put dem Avvo Pimps in dey place.

Bitch Slap O' the Week - Double Slap

Mr. Kaman don't hold back. Homeboy be trying to Keep It Real with two "Get Yo Nappy Ass Outta Here" bitchslaps.

Mr. Kaman unleashes a good one here against Mr. Maury Beaulier by comparing Mr. B's answers to da Desert Fox, Field Marshall Rommel.

Then, Mr. Kaman gives his best "Head Up Yo Ass" bitchslap to guess who....

Mr. B.. AGAIN!!

I guess Homeslice don't like it when outta state Wannabee Macks try to Pimp dey score with BS answers.

On the down low, Mr. K be lookin real angry too. Maybe I need to give Mr. K a call to see if he needs to get down with my number one hoochie.

Ghosts in Da Machine

Ghostblogging?

What will those Wannabe Macks think of next? Maybe ghostanswers on Avvo?

Well, we already know that Mr. Brinkmeier's responses to almost every answer he gives is a cut-n-paste. Why not have someone else do the cuttin-n-pasting while getten they Leaderboard status Pimped?

Anything to get that street cred. Damn shame.

Question on Avvo 'bout Answhores - Part 2

As I posted yesterday - da Answhores on AvvoAnswers are gettin straight up to da man - Mr. Josh King, VP and General Counsel of Avvo.

Today, my man outta Chicago got a follow up for Mr. Josh King.

Of course, I gotta give mad props to the Mack outta Chi-Town. (I found some really good ho's when I was workin Wabash and 8th). He be keepin it real by askin the questions that all ya'll want to ask - but afraid to.

All I gotta say is remember what Malcom said

"A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything."

Peace Out

Pimp O' the Week

Now, ya'll know I like to shine the spotlight on those Mack Daddy wannabee's that post that jive ass crap on AvvoAnswers. Each week I give a special shoutout  - da Pimp O' the Week and Krunk Kup.

The last two POTW, Mr. Brinkmeier and Mr. Robinson, each got the Krunk Kup for slammin out hella answers. They answered something like 650 questions between the two of em for weeks they got the award.

It make me wonder - how the hell they got all that time? Can you say - Dayyyyummmm !!!

So, even though the past winners be the one that Pimps the most answers on AvvoAnswers (giving them status on the Leaderboard) this week's winner get's the Krunk Kup for something else.

This week's POTW Krunk Kup go to Mr. Michael Shafer for being one of the most out-and-out weak ass, redneck, Answhore on Avvo yet.

Mr. Shafer, from Norco, CA, didn't even come close to pimpin the most answers this week. That still remains Mr. Brinkmeier's crown.

But, Mr. Shafer earned this week's award for his continual whacked out bullshit in almost every answer he posts. Here is come recent crap he spit out - take a look:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

If you wanna really see how whacked this dude gets, just click into his profile and then look at his past answers.

But, I just gotta ask this Wannabe Mack - Do you need to take a shit Mr. Shafer? Cuz, it seems you got diarhea of the keyboard.

Time to Take His BS Somewhere Else?

Oh Snap - I told ya'll Mr. Robinson would be showing up here again soon. It didn't take very long for him to get Bitch Slapped - AGAIN.

Mr. Kaman puts da "Bitch" in Bitch Slap !!

Question on Avvo 'bout Answhores

I know ya'll think I put this question on the site, but this Mack got his own thing goin on.

And just in case Avvo 5-0 wanna pull the question down, I'll put it here too.

Bitch Slap O the Week

First Mr. Robinson made our inaugural POTW, and now he makes our inaugural Bitch Slap O the Week (BSOW).

Here, in Mr. Robinson's answer to a question from Cali, Mr. Kaman and Mr. Shafer (both Cali attorney's) get in on the action to Slap Da White off of Mr. Robinson for being an ignorant NY attorney, trying to Pimp his scores.

Pimp It Homeboy. Pimp It.

Let's see what Mr. Robinson can get into next....

Wikipedia - Avvo and the Avvo Pimp

We got it goin on over at Wikipedia

Pimp O' the Week

Goes to.....Mr. Alan Brinkmeier.

This weeks Avvo Pimp slammed out 334 answers and 4 legal guides earning Mr. Brinkmeier the top spot on the Contribution Leaderboard.

Not only did Mr. Brinkmeier answer more questions outside of his jurisdiction (the Land of Lincoln), he regurgitated 4 more "legal guides" to earn dem Master Points ( 50 points for each legal guide) and decided it was time to really pimp out his score with the "Why ask Why" response.

Oh, and don't be forgettin that the Avvo 5-0 be gettin all up in my grill about my postin to they site. Mr. Conrad Saasm even got in the game over at Solosez. Ya see, bunch of folks on this ABA Listserv feel Avvo be tryin to pull the wool over they eyes. Thinkin they don't realize that Avvo is all about the Benjamins.

Mr. Conrad say -

As I've said here repeatedly, the quality of Answers is very important to us; we constantly review our policies to balance opportunities for lawyers to engage with consumers with abusive spamming of our site.

Don't be frontin on me.Homeboy trying to piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin.

And Mr. Brinkmeier, time to get your Krunk on.

Why ask Why? (Updated)

(Updated)
Seem like Avvo don't like Mr. Brinkmeier answer either - they took it down.


Ask Mr Brinkmeier - he know it all

Fight Tha Power

Fo Shizl.

I got an email from Avvo tellin me that callin out da Avvo Pimps by posting my own answers don't meet they "community guidelines".

Thanks for your recent participation on Avvo. This email is to notify you that you are in violation of our community guidelines. Specifically, we do not allow self promotion. If you have a legal answer for the questions you are responding to, we would welcome your comments. At this time I ask that you stop posting to Avvo with a link to your website.

Shhhhiiit.

Let's take a look at these guidelines and see what I be doin, that all those Mack's be doing too.

Like this part - Self Promotion:

Self promotion
Lawyers, we encourage you to share information about your business with the Avvo community; however, we ask that you do this in your lawyer profile or through our Advertising Solutions. Please do not directly solicit clients as part of an answer, legal guide, or peer endorsement. A link to your profile is presented next to each of your postings. The content of your postings should remain non-commercial in tone.

So, do that mean you cant say - Contact me at 1-800-DIAL A PIMP? All deez wannabe Mack's got it goin on. Why can't I put my own Pimpalicious words down?

Seems to me, that Avvo don't care bout how Pimps be slangin theyselves, but when Da True Mack do it, it get's they panties in a bunch.

How Do You Know if Your Question is About to be Pimped?

Look round the Avvo site and ya gotta see it. Those Mack's that are juiced up by gettin dem points - gotta Pimp they score. And, after looking round a bit, you start to see the same weak ass crap that those Avvo Pimps lay down. Somethin that tips you off - like when five O is about to beat down yo door- that your question is about to get pimped.

One way to tell that your question just got pimped is by seeing these key phrases in the answer-

I am not licensed in your state but,..

or this one

You need to consult with a local attorney

If I put my question on this site - looking for "free legal advice"
I ain't lookin to get it jacked by some Avvo Pimp lookin to get they face all over the web. I want to know the real deal about what I need to know. But, that's what they do.

Avvo put out this candy lookin to turn out deez fools for it too.

Lawyers: Answering questions lets you...
Become a featured contributor throughout Avvo
Move your way up the Contribution Leaderboard
Display your answers on your profile
Interact with prospective clients

You see - the more they post - don't matter if it's wack crack or legit deez Pimps get to be on the "Leaderboard" where they be lookin to gettin that street cred. Damn shame.

Keep it real you Avvo Pimps

Is this Mack Callin da Kettle a Pimp?

Wanna be mack, Mr. Michael Shafer, called out our last week's Pimp O'the Week (POTW) in this answer to a question from Cali, Mr. Shafer's home state. Fo shizl.

You see, Mr. Robinson, our first POTW was cold busted pimpin answers from all around the country but Mr. Robinson's profile say he only licensed in NY. Now, Mr. Shafer tryin to call out his mackness for answering a question in Cali with this bitch slap:

THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS IGNORE ADVISE FROM A NY ATTORNEY. YOU ARE IN MARTINEZ

How ironic.( I looked it up).

Mr. Shafer don't seem to think the same rules apply to him. He be doing the same wacked out crap that he just called out fo Mr. Robinson.

In GA

in VA

In IL

Even KY

This homeboy be all over da map with all dat messed up stuff. Dem points is like crack, aint it?

Now that's da Mack Callin da Kettle a Pimp.

Pimp - Avvo Style (Update)

(Update) Mr. Marshall got it goin on. He know da truth. Tellin it like it is, and knowin what an Avvo Pimp is all about.

Is it legit to call out da Pimps?

Mrs. Brewer say dat calling out da Avvo Pimps is the same thing as accusing dem of "moral turpitude". By callin em out, it's the same thing as callin a man a real "Pimp" - like Huggy Bear. Now, she say i'm subject to "Slander per se" in California.

I don't think so. Homey don't play dat.

My main man, Mr. Black, say Slander Per Se is: Slander for which special damages need not be proved because it imputes to the plaintiff any one of the following:(1) a crime involving moral turpitude....(emphasis added).

But, like my boy Johnny Cochrane say - If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

I'll tell you why the glove don't fit:

1) I didn't accuse none of those mack's of a crime involving moral turpitude. I didn't call dem no plain "Pimp" that hangs out on street corners dealing out them ho's to passin customers. I'm callin out da "Avvo Pimps". Da mack's that keep gettin dem points like candy. See the difference? And;

2) "truth" is an absolute defense to Slander. So, what be da truth? Are doz mack's getting points for whatever junk they want to put in they answer? Damn, right they are!!

Now, back to gettin my Ho Line straighten out.

Keepin It Real

We know dat Avvo has got da pimps. We see it in all doz messed up answers to real people's questions about they real problems. Pimps gotta keep it on, gotta get dem points, some props, some street cred.

But, there is another side to this. When someone cuts through the b/s by "keepin it real".

I want to give my respect to Mr. Stephen Mosca for his response to this question about how Avvo do its ratings.

I suppose a rating is affected by points "earned" for answering questions and writing legal guides, among many other factors. But I would hope that folks reading the site and looking for a lawyer will, upon selecting a likely candidate, read several, or more, of that person's former answers to other questions to get an idea of their level of knowledge and commitment to good defense practices.

Shallow answers designed to simply garner points should be apparent to even the casual reader, an embarrassment to the poster, and a blemish on the reputation of all lawyers that those dedicated to defense must continually overcome. It is what it is, I guess.

You right, Mr. Mosca. It is what it is.

Two big Ups to Mr. Mosca.

Now, where's my Krystal?

Shout Out to Lars

Shout out to Mr. Lars Lundeen for his DAMN RIGHT response in straight up pimp style. No need to give any background or support to his answer.

Homeboy knows that the simpler the response, the better.

15 points in da bag.

Peace Out.

What is Pimping?

Well, one might say that pimping is about style. Others might say it's all about dat money. And even others may say it's about respect. Avvo Pimps though, are all about those points. All those answers get'em 15 points.

Gotta get that street cred.

But, how do a pimp get street cred? Easy. Just put some whacked out crap on the Avvo site. Don't matter what you got to say, but say it like Johnny Cochrane would.

Or, even better, put some junk together that you can cut and paste into your answer like my homeboy Mr. Brinkmeier do. Take a look at this post and then take a look at some of his other shit.

Homeslice is like Steve Jobs with all dat cut and paste.

And what duz that get da pimp? Mo points, Mo points.

Old School

Mad props go out to Larry Bodine of Larry Bodine Marketing for his posts on Avvo over the last two years.

Take a look at his site ---

http://blog.larrybodine.com/2009/01/articles/current-affairs/avvo-has-lost-its-credibility/#pings

Word.

Pimp O' the Week

I gotta hand it to Mr. Robinson for making our inaugural Pimp O' the Week. The week before New Year's, he was able to slap out 282 answers and 2 legal guides.

"Moving on up"- (from Contributor Level 7). You da man.

Some examples of Mr. Robinson mackness is shown below.

His answer to this question from California is done with true pimp style. Notice the smooth charm he puts out about "pressing charges", to only then get bitch slapped by Level 8 contributor Mr. Marshall.

That should teach to you keep out of Level 8 turf. Daaayumm !!!

This one is even more pimpalicious. Not only did he get his props (15 points beeeotch) , he didn't even have anything to say but "I concur".

Street cred should be so easy.

Congratulations Mr. Robinson - you are a true P I M P.

Pardon Me While I Whip This Out

Welcome to what I believe is the first blog dedicated to calling out all those Avvo pimps. You know who I mean. Those mac daddie's/momma's that gotta get dem points. Gotta get they props, by any means necessary*. Like:

• Posting to states they ain't licensed in
• Pasting the same jive ass template answers to every damn thing they can
• Tellin the peeps - "find a local attorney".  Duh !!??
• Piggybacking answers with "I agree with the previous response".

If I go to Sizzler, do you think I want tofu? Hell no.

So why is it that all these Pimps that answer questions to peeps questions with "I don't practice in your state" or "I concur" think they are giving an answer worth a damn? They aint. They just PIMPIN.


So, this blog will call out those folks that have taken the Avvo pimpin action to the next level.

I know some ya'll say "Hey, don't hate the playa, hate the game". You right. But, a pimp is still a pimp and needs to be called out once in a while.

Now  - who's your daddy?

* Translation - attorney's who try to increase their avvo attorney rating by answering questions on the Avvo.com site by unscrupulous means